Quit captivating me!
by robotsftw232
Summary: Levi and Hanji are on a mission to get through this year at Trost University without killing their new dorm mates or themselves, problem is that things aren't always that simple! Debauchery, toddlers, arguments, an addiction with Marvel and extreme difficulties with communicating in the English language - sounds like university life to me? Levi/OC,Jean/Eren,Erwin/Mike,Hanji/Petra
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan.

**Holly - Okay, try not to panic... I'M TOTALLY PANICKING.**  
**This is my first AoT/SnK fic...**

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Chapter One

Dear God, I've never asked for much, coming from a Jewish family and all, but please, _please _could you make this day go even a little bit-

"You should be excited! Over the moon! Positively thrilled!"

Never mind, it's too late. I now know I'm in Hell, where you cannot hope to reach me.

"Can you wipe that shit-eating grin off of your face before I disown you forever?"

Hanji gives me eyes like a kicked puppy.

"Levi," She whines. "You always use that threat!"

Who am I to deny what's true?

"And each time I get just the tiniest bit closer to actually going through with it, and in doing so I might even put you in a sack and throw you into a river if you're not careful."

Cue the strange beached whale noise of disapproval and I can already feel the oncoming headache looming at the back of my skull, tenacious, just like Hanji ironically.

Today she's dressed in feminine attire: leggings with jean-shorts, a white vest top paired with a pale lemon-coloured hoodie and her hair's curled into loose ringlets down past her shoulders.

She's a girl today, and boy, is she letting me know it.

"It's not my fault you're all cranky about you're new room mate," She whines, hanging off of my shoulder despite the fact she's got a good 6 inches on me. "You never know! They might be a nice little human being!"

Last year at Trost University I was shoved into a dorm with this clown; at the time when she had enrolled Hanji had been in male attire, thus she was placed into a male dorm. This year however they've taken the opposite approach and have decided that Hanji should be placed into female accommodation and unfortunately, my last hope in the form of Erwin Smith has already moved in with his older boyfriend Mike off of campus in a quaint 2 bedroom apartment with Nanaba and Nifa.

Traitorous oaf.

So now I'm stuck with the great 'guess-who' of dorm room introductions, which is always fun when you generally hate the better half of society like I do.

I cross my arms and shrug Hanji off of my shoulder, we're making our way back across campus to the dorms – we'd already moved all of our possessions into the cramped spaces this morning – from the Starbucks near the Science Department where we had spent nearly 3 hours in the hopes that we could avoid meeting our new dorm mates so early in the day. It's still only 11:30am and I've been praying to every deity I can even think of that I'm not paired with some obnoxiously unclean barbarian.

I can avoid conversation if necessary so their personality doesn't particularly interest me. Hell, I'm not exactly friendship material either as it goes.

"Yes, well, I'm not exactly used to the whole 'first introductions' business," I say, glaring at the ground as we make are way down the stone pathway, Hanji's lemon yellow Converse burning a hole into my peripheral.

"Join the club Levi, at least you didn't have to witness yourself nearly lose your shit that morning after we met for the first time and I had lost my Y chromosome over night ," She snickers at the memory, and I'll admit it's a good one. It takes a lot to catch me off-guard and she had made me practically choke.

"Fair enough," I admit while trying my best not to smirk. "Please for the love of God at least attempt to mention the fact that you're bi-gender to the poor soul you're sharing a room with... And if they don't understand what it is make them Google it."

Hanji throws me a mock salute, "I will roger that."

Why she felt the need to quote Tony Stark from Avengers Assemble right now I will never know, but I don't question it because the moment seems at least half-appropriate, so in retaliation I stick out my left foot to trip her and say:

"Better clench up, Legolas."

I'm a laconic individual at best, I claim not to have emotions sometimes. I'm blunt, completely monotone at best and I rarely smile – but even I cannot contain my snorts of laughter as Hanji flails wildly before face-planting the floor with an audible smack.

"A-are-" I splutter and cough. "Are y-you okay?"

She doesn't move from where she's landed and as I gradually regain my cool I begin to wonder if in a day or two's time there might be chalked lines in the shape of where she's landed spread eagle on the path.

Alas, she turns her to look at me through her slightly-more-stylish-than-the-masculine-version glasses with a grim expression.

"Lucifer is going to put you on a spit-roast in the deepest flames of Hell I hope you know."

I roll my eyes and offer her a hand.

"Yeah, yeah," Then, "I hope you don't say those kinds of things to small children."

"I wouldn't dream of it," She brushes the barely-there dirt from her clothes. "Besides, small children don't tend to have a personality akin to Satan's."

"Touché."

We walk in silence for a little bit longer and I notice Hanji's left palm is slightly grazed which makes me acknowledge the fact I should feel slightly more guilty than I do. Curses.

"Can we meet our new dorm mates together?" I ask, not bothering to look her in the eye as I'm far more pre-occupied with the spontaneously loose piece of cotton on my sleeve. I can feel her practically exploding with unspoken questions.

"Okay," She says eventually, worrying at a loose piece of skin on her graze. "But we're meeting yours first."

And it's then that I realise that she's just as nervous as I am.

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**Holly - Yeah I watched Avengers Assemble yesterday... And Guardians of the Galaxy... I hope you're all looking forward to reading the next chapter as I am to writing it!**  
**FYI - I will be changing the rating as I go!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan.

**Holly - Yay for language barriers!**

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Chapter 2

To say this wasn't what I was expecting would be an understatement.

"Hallo," The boy smiles dumbly from where he's stood amidst his open suitcases that scatter the floor.

Hanji is quaking with poorly contained mirth. I feel oddly calm. I'm going to blink and this will all be over. Or I'll find I'm in the wrong room despite the fact I used my key. Yes, that sounds adequate doesn't it?

My fifth round of blinking and I'm even internally praying to Marilyn Monroe for guidance. People in Heaven can hear your prayers right? In that case maybe a crack whore isn't the best person to turn to. If I could choose a spiritual guide right now it would have to be...

The boy is holding up a distorted piece of card that Hanji graciously takes for me as she seems to understand the delicacy of the situation by now.

"You ist Levvi?" He asks, mispronouncing what I once thought was a simple name to have.

It would probably be Martin Luther King, who I'd choose for my spiritual guide I mean. He seems like he was a patient guy, didn't put up with people's shit. Ideal actually.

"Mein Name ist Eren," He says, looking jovially sure of himself and holding out his right hand for me to shake. Yep, I'm going have an aneurysm.

"NICE TO MEET YOU EREN!" Hanji coos, elbowing me out of the way before I offend the brunette boy and probably his entire family while I'm at it. "MY NAME IS HANJI! AND THIS IS LEVI!"

"Hanji the boy's German, not deaf," I hiss.

Actually my new dorm mate looks pretty startled after Hanji's rather loud introduction, he's hunched over like a cat that might bolt if provoked any further.

"Er, guten tag Eren. Ich heiße Levi," I say awkwardly, trying to rack my brains for the little German I remember from last summer. "Ich bin ein Ausländer...?"

Now the boy looks downright concerned.

"Sie sprechen Deutsch?"

And you know, you never realise how important the ability to communicate really is until you find yourself in a situation where the language barrier is so apparent that both parties have been reduced to awkward staring and the occasional game of charades that goes completely misunderstood.

The boy, Eren, busies himself with packing away the rest of his belongings and avoids eye contact with us as I somehow made it clear that the mess upsets me (much pointing and shouting) so Hanji and I decide to leave him to it and make our way over to the girls' dorms.

"Bless him, I still have his card," Hanji says, pulling the dirty piece of paper from her pocket and checking it over. "He's a foreign exchange student all the way from Munich."

I roll my eyes so hard that I'm scared to repeat the action in case they become stuck like it.

"He could have at least learned some English before coming to study here," I say, not a forgiving bone in my body.

I'm French, born and raised. I even have the accent to prove it, and I wasn't exactly up-to-date with everyday English when I first came here – just ask Hanji – but I was at least capable of uttering something more coherent than just my own name.

"I thought he was cute," She defends, clinging at my sleeve and gaining second-glances from stray first-years who aren't used to the Hanji's antics.

"You don't have to live with him for the next year," I point out.

We come to a stop in front of Hanji's door and she pulls her keys from her pocket, they're adorned with multiple Pokemon key rings and a bracelet I made for her during high school (or my Mother had anyway, when she wanted me to make friends after arriving in America.)

The bracelet brings back a flurry of different emotions, high school had been tough on my poor freshly-migrated soul. People didn't like my strong accent or my centre parting or my clean clothes.

_American kids are little shits,_ I quickly learned.

Though, growing up in France hadn't been all 'peaches and cream' either. Getting out of there with the opportunity provided by Father's new job had seemed like a dream come true until the harsh reality of American suburbia had settled in.

Hanji and Erwin were – are – my only salvation. I'm pretty sure the blonde still has his own friendship bracelet knocking around somewhere though I daren't question it's whereabouts. We don't talk about high school.

Back to reality and Hanji's thrown the door open and successfully scared the living daylights out of the poor girl stood just half a meter from it. All I can see is red.

"Oh! You must be my room mate!"

Hanji stares. I stare. The girl is on fire.

… And I think we stare for an unreasonably extended time.

"Hello? The lights are on but no one's home?" She laughs, showing off a smile that's almost too toothy.

"Wow, your hair! Look at it!" Way to be subtle Hanji.

It's red. Well, red would be the understatement of the century. It's positively volcanic and the more I stare the more there seems to be. It's frizzy and it makes me want to bust out the comb, brush and rake. But another part of me doesn't want to, it's beautiful in its own right, like a cobweb in the sunlight, and it makes my palms ache in the way they usually do when I've found my latest muse.

"Er, thank you," The girl laughs abashedly. "So I'm right in saying that you're my room mate?"

Hanji's still dancing around the poor girl, touching her hair and pulling at the frizzy ringlets that bounce back into place after being tugged.

"Yes! I'm Hanji Zoe!"

Cue the toothy smile and I have to look away.

"And this is my friend, Levi!"

Mother of Mercy, I have to look back and thankfully she doesn't offer me her hand.

"It's nice to meet you both," She nods, making her shoulder-length curls bounce slightly. "I'm Juniper, but you can call me Junie or June for short if you like."

"Well Junie," Hanji says, standing to attention with her hands on her hips and a diplomatic expression. "Since we're dorm mates you should know that tomorrow there's a significant chance that I'll wake up as a man."

"Hanji!" I hiss.

Juniper looks slightly awed by this declaration.

"You can do that?" She asks, wide-eyed.

"Of course, I'm bi-gender," Hanji beams. "It's a battle of the Sex Chromosomes!"

We spend the next 10-15 minutes using the internet on my iPhone to Google what in God's name Hanji is talking about so the poor girl can have a better chance of understanding.

"I think I get it," Juniper says, nodding once more before looking up at us from the pocket-sized device with eyes the colour of honey. "And you're a second-year?"

* * *

I potter my way along the corridors back to my own dorm with my head in the clouds. I keep reminiscing about the past, about France and high school and it's starting to irritate me how I can never seem to forget anything that happens. I need a drink. But first I must see what my new German dorm mate is up to.

I really hope he hasn't trashed the place because that wouldn't make me a happy bunny.

No sir.

I open the door with my keys and take a fleeting glance; the boy is nowhere to be found which is a relief, I think. Hopefully he doesn't end up getting himself lost around the city of Trost because he can't even ask for directions.

Instead of worrying (ha!) about Eren I pull out my laptop from underneath my bed and pull up Trost University's website on Google Chrome.

I've never used the online bulletin board last year as I never saw the need but I've heard all kinds of good things about it. It's like Craigslist for the campus community where you can buy and sell, arrange events, ask for things and offer services (a rarity but it has been said to happen.)

Of course everything that gets posted on the bulletin board has to be approved by the administrators first before it is available to be seen by the rest of the University's students (and even the staff.) I open up a new 'sticky note' as the page has called it and I watch the cursor blink at me for a while, unsure of what to write. I've never been good with words which is why I've always used pencil and paint and any other materials I can get my hands on to convert what I'm feeling for the world to see.

My eyes flick to my artist portfolio that stands slotted between the wall and my wardrobe and my inspiration blooms like a particularly tenacious chrysanthemum.

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**Have your portrait painted for FREE! – by 2nd Year Art and Design Major**

**I say 'free' but actually I want you teach my dorm mate English. He's German so obviously the ability to speak German is required.**

**Contact at: rackerman/ /trostu . ac .uk**

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Of course I don't expect the advertisement will be approved, much less taken notice of, but it's worth a try. Right?

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**Holly - Okay, I'm done, my brain has turned into marshmallow but I hope you enjoyed! Also if you're wondering Levi says: Hello Eren, I'm called Levi. I'm a foreigner? and Eren replies with a confused: You speak German?  
Oh and pretend that Levi's email address looks more legit than it does with half of it missing because FF can't tell the difference between real domain names and ones I've pulled out of my ass. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. **


End file.
